SasoDei: Pizza Boy
by Happii Haden
Summary: Two socially awkward guys. One is a pizza boy. One is a love sick artist. Throw them in a party and everything becomes more awkward than necessary. He didn't know he even existed, but hey why not give it a chance, right? SasoDei AU Oneshot thingy. Warning: Characters are OOC af.


In honor of our bday, I present a lovely SasoDei bday present c:

Happy birthday, Sasori and Kishi!

Naruto © Kishimoto

Story © Happii Haden

Rated: T

Genre: Romance/Humor

Words: 4195

* * *

><p>It was a lame Saturday night. A lame Saturday night that Deidara worked. He honestly couldn't comprehend why his boss was so persistent on staying tonight. It was a Saturday night! He could've been doing something better with his time. He could have been working on cosplay, reading manga, drawing fan art, and the list goes on. Sure, those weren't the most active thing he could be doing, but it was what he liked. Still, he was stuck at his shitty job as a pizza boy.<p>

Deidara grumbled as he cleaned the counter for what seemed to be the fiftieth time that night. No one had order anything or even came by. The place was practically empty. What made it worse was that he was practically the only one there! His stupid boss had ditched the joint to go to some party. He had overheard the phone conversation while cleaning out the supply closet.

To his dismay, the only other worker was that idiot, Hidan, who made the pizzas. The guy was a foul mouthed punk who had nothing better to do, but bug the poor blond. Deidara was nearly ready to tear his hair out by ten o'clock. Fortunately, the phone went off and saved his precious hair from certain doom.

He was quick to answer and push Hidan away from him. "Hello?"

"_Hey, I'd like to place an order."_

The blond nearly squealed. Finally _something_! "Of course. What will it be?"

The voice, or voices as it seemed like there was commotion on the other line, went quiet before speaking up once more. "_Yeah, we'll have two pepperoni with anchovies on one, three margaritas, one pineapple, and two with everything on it."_

Deidara's eyes widened at the order. However, the people kept going on adding side dishes and two-liters. When they finally finished, he swallowed hard and rang up the order. It ended up costing around one hundred and thirty-four dollars.

"Hey, slacker, we have a big order. Get your ass to work, yeah," the blond said to the cook after hanging up. "Seems like someone is having a party or something. They ordered eight pizzas with sides."

Hidan grumbled and took the written order. "What the fuck? Fucking assholes ordering this late. I should be at that party, not here cooking some shitty pizzas."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Just get to it already. You're not the one who has to deliver it, ya know."

"You could cook them and I could deliver," Hidan grinned.

"How about...no." The blond crossed his arms. "I'll help you cook them if you help me deliver them."

The other let out a sort of whine. "Why can't you just do all the work?"

"Cause I suck at making pizzas, yeah."

Hidan sighed heavily and nearly flinched at the memory of the blond attempting to make pizza. They had to replace most of the kitchen. Their boss, Kakuzu, was pissed off and took it out on him instead of the blond bitch. Hidan didn't want that to happen again. "Fine. Just leave the actual fucking cooking to me. You know how to build a pizza, right?"

Deidara nodded.

"Great. You can do that instead of burning the Jashin damn kitchen again."

It nearly took an hour to cook all the pizzas. Even with their large ovens and attempts at cramming, the pizza took quite some time. When it was all boxed, they packed it to the blond's car and strapped it in the back tightly.

Hidan crossed his arms and scanned the passing scenery. "These asshats better have the money to pay for all of this."

Deidara pointed to the house that was addressed over the phone. "I think they have more than enough."

"Oh, shit."

The two awed men stepped out of the car and stared at the house for a few seconds. Deidara was first to retrieve the goods from the back hastily make his way to the front door. He went to knock, but noticed the doorbell not far from the doors. He pressed the button and expected a loud ring. Instead, he was greeted with another voice; It was an intercom.

"Uh, pizza delivery, yeah?" he said awkwardly into the speaker. The voice on the other side said no more and the doors were opened. By this time, Hidan had joined him and both were allowed to step within the grand mansion.

With their hands full, the two looked around for a person to hand it off to and receive the payment. However, the place was so packed that it was hard to tell who to give it to. Fortunately, a group of three men approached them. The two tallest males took ahold of the boxes.

"I see you made it," a deep voice greeted.

Deidara's eyes widened, "B-Boss?"

Hidan nearly dropped his jaw. "The fuck!? Why the hell are you here!?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, "Doesn't matter. Anyways, this is all you have to do for the night. You can stay for the party or go home." He began to walk off, but stopped and turned around. "Oh, yeah. That choice was only for Deidara. Hidan, you're not welcomed. Go home."

The male standing next to the blond growled in anger. "You fucking dickwad!" He stomped after their boss, leaving the blond behind.

Deidara winced at the male's loud complaints. "Uhm," he muttered awkwardly.

A male with jet black hair stared at him passively. "Kakuzu has collected the payment already, so you're free to do as you please."

The blond frowned and looked the male up and down. "You seem familiar, yeah."

"We attended the same high school for four years. We had maths and english together."

"Uchiha?" Deidara asked in surprise.

The raven nodded, "Correct. It's only been three years, Kurusu. Are you really that forgetful?"

The blond clenched his jaw tightly. "No. In fact, I just remembered why I hated you so much, yeah."

The Uchiha smirked at the snide remark. "Jealous much, pizza boy?"

"You smug bastard!" Deidara hissed seeing red. There was a good reason why the blond chose to forget the rich asshole. Just seeing him brought back many unpleasant memories. What made it worse was the nickname "pizza boy". It only reminded him of his low status compared to the other. Hell, this was probably his mansion.

"You can go home. If I remember correctly, parties weren't your scene anyways."

The blond balled his hand into a fist. "Fuck you, Uchiha! I'm not going anywhere. I'll show you, yeah. I'll party harder than anybody else in this shitty mansion!" With those words spat out, he stomped away from the rich male. He stomped away in no real direction and ended up at a bar where they were serving a variety of alcohol.

Finally old enough to legally drink, he waited in the small line for something preferably fruity. When he reached the end, the tall male who had taken the other foods from Hidan's hands was serving drinks. "Hey there, blondie," he grinned with shark-like teeth.

"Uh, hi," the blond said awkwardly. "You got anything fruity, yeah?"

The male cocked his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"Speech impediment," the blond coughed with a blush. His cheeks turned a darker shade of red when he heard the tall male chuckle at his uncomfortableness.

"Something fruity, huh?" You like vodka?"

Deidara nodded, "It'll do."

As the male mixed his drink, he kept a conversation going. He had introduced himself as Kisame. He too had went to the same school as the blond, however, he was a senior when the blond entered freshman year. After high school, Kisame got a job as a barkeep, but attended a small community college nearby. Deidara was unsure why the male was willing to share so much about himself, but he didn't mind. The guy was friendly and if anything it made him more at ease.

"You said you go to Westwood University of Fine Arts, right?" Kisame asked with a toothy grin.

Deidara nodded and accepted his drink from the male.

"What kind of art are you in to?"

That was an interesting question. Not that he minded of course. He loved talking about art. Although it was odd talking to a sporty barkeeper about art. Typically those kind of people thought of art as "pansy" or "sissy" like.

"Well, I major in 3D, yeah. I build sculptures from ice, clay, wood, or just about any material. My favorite is clay though. It's the best for exploding. Although, ice is cool too. It melts and stuff, yeah."

"Exploding, huh? You don't keep your projects?"

Deidara grinned for the first time that night, "Art is meant to be fleeting. Nothing can last forever, yeah. It'd get boring and dull. You see,-" the blond began to rant. If he hadn't been so indulged in his conversation, he would have noticed the ever growing smirk on Kisame's face.

"Huh, that's pretty interesting. Say," Kisame said when the blond took a breather, "could you deliver a drink for me? You see, it's his birthday today hence the party."

The blond seemed surprised by the request. "Oh, sure," he said with some reluctance. The only person he was getting somewhat comfortable with was sending him away. That was definitely a sucker punch to the gut.

Kisame chuckled, "Don't look so down, kid. I'm sure you'd rather like to talk about art with someone who loves it just as much as you."

"Just as much as me?" Deidara's eyes lit up at the hint.

"Yep. He might love it even more," he grinned. "You can't miss him. He's got messy red hair and doesn't get out much. You'll probably find him hanging out alone on the couch in the library. His name is Sasori. If you can't find him, just ask around. Someone is bound to know where he's at."

Deidara nodded and took the other glass in his hand. "Alright," he smiled. "It was nice talking to you, uh, Kisame, right?"

The tall male nodded, "See ya around, kid."

The blond left the bar with a new found eagerness. Someone else who liked art. Hopefully, Kisame was telling the truth about this guy. It was always pleasant meeting someone else who loved art just like him. Sure, he went to a school with students who were just as interested, but that didn't mean they shared the same kind of passion he did.

After asking around for the location of the library, Deidara was lead to the second floor in the west wing. The room was huge and filled with books from the floor to the ceiling. The blond bit his tongue in annoyance. _Stupid rich weasel-bastard_, he grumbled to himself. Upon further exploration, he found a redhead and blue haired woman sitting on a couch by themselves.

The woman's eyes met his almost immediately and he froze. She smirked before whispering something to the redhead.

Deidara swallowed nervously as the woman left the couch and walked toward him. She didn't stop, however. She walked right past him still wearing that weird smirk. The blond looked around and nearly jumped when he heard the redhead from the couch speak to him.

"Are you just gonna stand there all night, or what?"

"N-No," the blond spat out with a surprised stutter. He took a calming breath and walked over to the redhead with caution. "Uh, Kisame told me to give you this."

The other male stared at him for a few seconds before taking the drink into his own hands. "Thanks," he muttered.

Deidara awkwardly rubbed his own glass with his thumb. "No problem. I, uh, heard that today was your birthday, yeah."

"It is," the other replied with a sip of his drink. "You can sit down, you know?"

"Sasori, right?" the blond asked as he sat down a cushion away.

"Yep. Deidara?"

Deidara blinked in surprise. "How did you-"

"The girl who was just here told me your name. She said you're her brother's roomie at WUFA," Sasori interrupted.

"Oh…" The blond frowned slightly and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. Well this was awkward. He really needed to work on his socializing skills. Then again, the other male didn't seem to be much of a talker either and since he didn't seem like he was going to be making any move to converse any time soon, it was up to Deidara. "Kisame said you were into art, yeah."

Sasori nodded.

Deidara nearly coughed at the awkward tension in the air. "What kind of arts, yeah?"

"Mainly carving, but I do enjoy traditional once in a while."

"Carving? What medium?" the blond asked starting to get excited.

The redhead raised a thin eyebrow. "Wood is my favorite. It is the most sturdiest and everlasting compared to the other mediums. Although, ceramic is nice as well." He took a sip of his fruity drink and watched the blond with bedroom eyes.

Deidara flushed under the gaze. "Everlasting, huh? I do almost the same. I prefer ceramic, yeah. It's a lot easier to explode."

"Explode," the redhead repeated.

The blond nodded, "I fuse a lot of my clay projects with a small explosive material and when the project is complete, I take it out back and blow it up. It's beautiful, yeah."

Sasori's eyebrows furrowed in something akin to disgust. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"Art is fleeting, that's why! Nothing is made to last forever. Art is transient much like life, and since art _is_ life it's true."

"Wrong," the redhead blurted. "Entirely wrong." He shook his head with a click of his tongue. "Art is everything but transient."

Deidara raised his eyebrows in surprise at the outburst. The other male sounded offended at his own opinion. "What do you mean? Art _is_ fleeting, yeah!"

Sasori gazed at the blond with a bored, yet callous, expression. "Art is eternal. It lasts throughout the ages, preserved for all generations to see. Not everything in life wastes away. Take the Easter Island heads for example. Even though some began to decompose, they were restored by many researchers."

"I can see your point, but I just can't find the beauty in something so long-lived. It gets boring after a while, yeah. Who wants to look at the same thing forever?" Deidara set his empty glass beside the bottom of the couch. "With ephemeral art each piece is replaced with something new and more of interest. Like fireworks, yeah! Everyone loves fireworks, that's why some will spend so much money just to see the flashing colors only if it lasts for one night."

Sasori pursed his lips, "I personally hate fireworks. They're obnoxiously noisy and leave a messy residue behind."

Deidara's frowned, "Fireworks are awesome, yeah. As an artists, how can you even complain about messiness? I've never came across a clean artist."

"You're currently speaking to one. I hate anything messy, unorganized, unplanned, and imperfect."

The blond crossed his arms, "Are you even an artist. You're way too uptight."

Sasori glared darkly.

Deidara's eyes widened ever-so-slightly before shifting away from the redhead's face. Well, he certainly didn't mean to upset the other so-called-artist. "Ah, sorry," he muttered, "that was rude of me, yeah…" He heard a soft irritated sigh and looked up with caution.

The redhead had set down his glass as well and was now resting against one arm on the couch arm. He wore a look of annoyance in place of the dark glare he had sported just mere seconds ago. His eyes met the blond's.

Deidara focused his eyes to floor once more as he felt his face heat up. The male just stared at him before muttering something to himself. "Do you have to st-stare?" he stuttered. His blush increased at the embarrassing mistake in speech.

"Does it bother you?"

"Slightly…"

Sasori hummed quietly.

The blond picked his glass up and stood quickly. "Well, I guess I should get going now, yeah. It's pretty late. It was nice meeting you though. Uh, happy birthday," he uttered with a small smile before leaving the library.

When he returned the glass to the bar, he greeted the tall barkeep with a quiet "hello again".

He was met with a toothy grin. "You talked to Sasori?" Kisame asked.

Deidara nodded, "Yeah, he seemed like an okey guy…"

Kisame frowned at this, but quickly forced a smile back upon his lips. "Did you two not get along or something?"

"Huh? Oh, no. It was just a bit awkward, yeah," the blond rubbed the back of his neck with a strained smile.

"I see."

The blond frowned now as well. "Something wrong?"

Kisame chuckled softly and motioned for the blond to take a seat. He poured another drink and slid it to the blond who took it with gratefulness. "Well, you see, Sasori goes to the same college as you."

Deidara's eyes widened at this. Did the redhead really go to WUFA? He had never seen him before. Then again, Deidara hardly paid attention to anything aside from art.

"We're pretty close friends, so he tells me about just anything. As of lately, he's been talking about this cute blond guy in all of his classes," Kisame smirked.

_Cute!? Sasori thinks I'm cute? _ Deidara thought to himself in surprise. _And we have all classes together!?_

The tall male laughed at the blond's expression. "I'll take it you didn't know then, huh? Yeah, at first he complained a whole lot. Saying stuff about how a certain blond haired brat thought art was fleeting and how completely wrong he was. Then he'd rant on about the "true meaning of art", but when he finished complaining he'd slump down and bury his face in his hands." Kisame chuckled at the memory. "He'd mutter things about how he had found his perfect soul mate, yet the brat was too dense to even notice him."

The blond's face was crimson. "Are you saying that S-Sasori has a crush on me, y-yeah?"

"Something like that," Kisame shrugged. "I told him that he should just ask you out or something, but he's a bit of shy guy himself, although he won't admit it. Kakuzu is a friend we go way back with, so when he got tired of hearing Sasori complaining he came up with the idea of having you bring the pizzas to the party. That way you'd have to meet Sasori somehow or make him approach you." The tall sighed with a forced smile, "However, when Sasori heard about our plan he made sure to make a run for it. Thankfully, Konan talked him into staying."

Deidara swallowed with a slight tremble, "I see…"

"We were hoping he'd actually make a move, but if you're back here talking to me...well, my guess is that he didn't."

"He didn't," the blond stated. He ran his fingers through his long hair. "To be honest, I didn't ever notice him before."

Kisame chuckled, "Really? He isn't that hard to spot in a crowd of people. Although, I guess, when he doesn't want to be noticed, he blends in well with the background."

Deidara sighed and ran a finger around the rim of his glass. "Someone should have said there was a hot redhead in class. I would have introduced myself a lot sooner, yeah!" He paused quickly before shaking his head. "Okey, that was a lie. I'd probably just look at him from a distance. I'd be too nervous to approach him. We'd probably be waiting around for each other to have the balls to come up to one of us, yeah…"

"You really are his soul mate," the tall male laughed. "You're both socially awkward as hell."

The blond blushed, "I wouldn't say soul mates, yeah…"

"Right, right," Kisame waved a hand in dismissal. "Say, you wanna take this drink to a certain birthday boy? He probably needs another."

"You want me to talk to him again?"

Kisame shrugged, "I'm not saying you _have_ to. He's probably still in the library sulking about."

Deidara sighed and picked up the glass. "I guess I could go give it to him," he muttered. He left the bar with pink stained cheeks and moved through the crowd of people back to the library. He entered quietly as not to be heard. Kisame was right about the redhead staying and sulking. Sasori was lying on the couch with an expensive looking pillow over his face. His red hair stuck out from behind the plush vibrantly. The blond couldn't help but smile and hold back a small chuckle at the display. Sasori had seemed so stone cold before, but now he was much like a teenage girl.

"Hey, I brought you another drink, yeah."

"Leave it on the floor," came the muffled reply from Sasori.

Deidara set the glass on the floor near the redhead, but instead of leaving like he had planned, he sat down.

"Why're you still here?"

The blond looked up at the redhead from his grounded position. "Does it bother you?" he asked, mocking the redhead's own words from their previous encounter. His smile brightened as he heard a soft chuckle from beneath the pillow.

The redhead's grip on the pillow tightened. "You have to stop doing that, brat…"

"Brat?" Deidara asked with a purse of his lips. "I'm not a kid, yeah. And what do you mean I have to stop?"

"Stop being so god damn perfect."

Deidara's face flushed and his heart picked up at the comment. He wasn't expecting the redhead to say it to his face. Well, technically it wasn't to his face, because Sasori was speaking from behind a pillow, but that's beside the point.

"I'm not perfect, yeah…"

"Perfect for me," the redhead muttered. "I'm assuming you already talked to Kisame and he blurted every out, as usual?"

It was quiet, but Deidara could still make out the words. "Yeah, he did…" the blond admitted.

"Great…"

"You still haven't tried to drink I brought up here for you, yeah," Deidara reminded the redhead.

"I'm not thirsty," Sasori replied almost immediately.

The blond pondered for a moment before rising to his knees. His body faced the lying redhead and his eyes met with the pillow covered face. "I'll drink with you."

Sasori shook his head from underneath. "Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"No. I'm trying to get to know you through a friendly drink," the blond responded with a smile although Sasori couldn't see it.

"I'd rather not."

Deidara raised a hand and gently poked at the redhead's side. "Please, yeah?"

The redhead grumbled and twitched at the touch. "Brat, you…" he grumbled some more before sighing. "Fine. Only because I'm tired of breathing in I'm-way-richer-than-you material."

As Sasori uncovered his face, Deidara decided on a last minute decision and leaned in. Before the other could utter a word, he pressed his lips against the redhead's in a gentle kiss. Deidara usually never made a first move, especially something so bold as a kiss, but it just felt right to do so at that moment in time.

Sasori was so taken aback by the action that when Deidara pulled away, his first words to spit out of his mouth were, "Oh, fuck."

Deidara couldn't help but laugh at his surprise.

"Did you-" Sasori blinked, jaw agape. "You just...You kissed me. The hell?"

"Too soon, yeah?"

The redhead shook his head, "No. Not soon enough if you ask me, but...why? I mean...I thought you didn't like me. I kinda didn't make a very good first impression. Hell, I kinda blew you off," he began to mutter under his breath. "And when you left I figured I had ruined all chances of even getting with you. I'm just-"

Deidara pressed another quick kiss to his unexpecting lips.

"Surprised," Sasori finished as he regathered his thoughts once more. The surprise attacks to his mouth really seemed to make his mind draw a blank.

"I was surprised when Kisame told me," Deidara admitted with a smile, "but birthdays are about surprises, yeah?" He glanced at the floor for a mere second and remembered the alcohol. "Oh, yeah. Do you want you drink now? It'd be a shame to let it go to waste."

Sasori pulled on the collar of his t-shirt as if the temperature had increased. "Actually, I'm a bit parched now that you mention it." He reached a hand out to cup the blond's face and pull him closer. "But, I'd rather have some more of this."

Deidara's blush deepened as the redhead kissed him in return. This time the kiss lasted longer and the drinks on the floor were long forgotten. The blond couldn't find himself caring about the liquor as Sasori's lips traveled to his neck. Meh, it was that bastard Uchiha's wasted liquor anyways. Besides, who needed the drink when he had a potentially perfect boyfriend material redhead making out with him?


End file.
